Amen
by edwardsbellamy
Summary: O/S Small town Bella has been in love with her best friend's older brother since high school. Now Edward's back in town, but he brought his girlfriend with him. Bella is heartbroken. Maybe she should listen to the ladies at the beauty shop. Someone give me an amen.


My name is Bella Swan and I live my life in the shadows. No, this is not a vampire story. I mean that I live in metaphorical shadows, a place where I am usually happy to be. I am surrounded by larger-than-life people who naturally take the spotlight and I'm happy to let them have it.

My oldest sibling, Angela, is every parent's dream. Growing up, she followed every rule and always kept her room clean. Angie isn't a brown noser or a goody-two-shoes. She just literally cannot fathom coloring outside the lines. My older brother Emmett is loud and lovable, but he likes to bend the rules. When Emmett would suggest throwing a ball inside or giving the dog a haircut, Angie would turn red, clap her hands over her ears, and shake her head as hard as she could. Not wanting to upset Angie kept Emmett from going through with some of his wildest plans, but he still got into his fair share of trouble. Emmett is the class clown, the life of the party, and always in the middle of a joke. I'm not a troublemaker or a schemer by nature but trouble always seems to find me, mostly because I'm an extreme klutz. Between my propensity for causing disasters and Emmett being himself, I'm surprised Angie made it through childhood without having a coronary. My lifelong best friend Alice is another shining star. She radiates energy, like a kindergartner that eats nothing but pixie sticks. She wants everything in her world to be shining and happy. If things aren't going her way, she has a scheme to get them back on track. Typically, I get unwillingly sucked into her schemes and they rarely ever end well.

I'm quiet and I don't like to be the center of attention. I would rather be at home reading a book then at a loud party. I'm one of the only girls in my school who doesn't feel the need to dress like a two dollar hooker. And I've never had a date.

I'm not Adriana Lima, but I'm also not a bridge troll. I'm average height, average weight, under average bust size and muscle tone with run-of-the-mill dark eyes and dark hair. Not the most attractive combination, but no guy has ever suggested I walk around with my head under a paper bag. I'm not being self-deprecating. I'm a realist and I've looked in a mirror. But I also know that my average looks are backed up by a pretty awesome personality, if I do say so myself. But somehow many factors converged to make me the most undatable girl in my hometown. My father is probably the biggest obstacle. As police chief, he has always enjoyed sitting on the porch cleaning his gun whenever a boy showed the slightest interest in one of his daughters. My sister made it easy on him by dating the reverend's son. My mother is always telling him to relax and put his gun away, but she does her fair share of scaring the datable population away. My mother hasn't realized that the free love movement ended over forty years ago, and no one has the heart to tell her. Any boy who managed to make it past my NRA card carrying father had to contend with my mother offering to balance his aura

or adjust his chi. Many of her offers come out sounding (unintentionally of course) like she is a cougar trying to catch herself some fresh, young prey. So obviously, boys couldn't be brought to my home.

Boys tended not to approach me at school either. Most people who had met my sister assumed I would be just as big a prude and my walrus-sized football playing brother was more than intimidating. I spent most of my time with Alice, who is completely gorgeous, and Emmett's stunning, icy blonde girlfriend, Rosalie. With those two to look at, boys tended to forget I existed. I flew below the radar of the boys of Forks, Washington all through my teenage years, but I didn't mind. I was completely in love with Alice's older brother.

Edward Cullen was the golden boy of Forks. Straight A student, president of his class, captain of the baseball team and the closest thing to an Abercrombie model that our small town had ever seen. He got enough female attention for five guys, but he never let it go to his head. He was the only boy who ever actually noticed me. Granted, he was four years older than me and one of my brother's best friends. He saw me as a little sister, but at least he saw me. Unlike the typical jock, he could hold a conversation at a higher level than the latest football game and he liked to read. He had good taste in music and he appreciated my self-deprecating sarcasm. I was crushed when he went to college at Stanford, but I always knew that he was meant for bigger things than our small town. He came back for Alice's graduation and sought me out at her party.

The party was held at the Cullen mansion in the woods on the outskirts of town. Carlisle Cullen was the Chief of Medicine at the local hospital and Esme Cullen came from old money. Despite being some of the most down-to-earth people you will ever meet, they had gone all out for their baby's graduation. Our entire senior class and what seemed like at least half of our town was in attendance and Alice had demanded formal wear, so I'd had to haul my prom dress out from the back of my closet. After an hour, I escaped the craziness of the backyard by wandering down to the pond on the edge of the Cullen property. That was where Edward found me.

"How did I know you'd be down here?" I jumped a foot at the deep voice behind me. "Sorry, Bella. I thought you heard me coming. I wasn't exactly quiet."

I smiled. "I was just thinking."

He smiled back at me. "You were thinking pretty hard."

"I was thinking about next year. It's going to be so strange not having Alice around every day."

"I though you two were going to be roommates next year."

I shook my head. "Nope, U-Dub is too big for me. I'm staying here and taking classes at the community college in Port A. Angela finished a business degree there and she really liked it."

He frowned. "That's funny. I never saw you sticking around here."

"Really? I've never really pictured myself anywhere else." I knew everyone thought of me as a homebody, but I was okay with that.

"I always saw you in Paris or New York, becoming a famous writer someday." I loved Edward's smile and it was infectious.

"You're one to talk, surfer boy. You're staying at Stanford for med school, aren't you?"

"Yeah, the scholarship would be kind of hard to turn down."

"See, you're the one meant for big things, not me."

"Don't sell yourself short, Bella. You are so much more than any other person here, me included." His green gaze was intense and my heart was beating so loud I was sure he could hear it. I just stood there with my mouth hanging open because I didn't know what to say in return. He gently brushed a piece of hair behind my ear and I shivered. His smile got even bigger and he leaned toward me.

That was the night that Edward Cullen gave me my first kiss. Afterward, we stood together in silence watching the moonlight on the pond for a few minutes until Alice found us and dragged me back to the party. We never talked about it afterward and Edward returned to California to start summer classes a few days later. He was so busy in med school that he only came home for major holidays and I missed him a few times when I was visiting Alice

I finished my degree in English at the local community college. After my brother and sister moved out, Mom went a little crazy. After the third time she tried to redecorate the house, Dad insisted that she find a job. While we were young, Mom had mostly been home with us, but she'd also tried and failed many careers, from children's librarian to yoga instructor. No one expected her to succeed when she opened a store downtown catering to the average organic-loving hippie, but it was a raging success with both tourists and locals. I helped out in the store a lot, moved into the small studio space above it, and spent my free time writing. So far I was only published online, but I knew my time would come. The only person who'd read my personal writing so far was my friend Jake, who I'd met at college.

Angie's husband Ben managed the local Safeway and she stayed at home with their toddler son, Joey. Emmett and Rosalie opened a car restoration shop in Port A and had a baby daughter, Lilly. Alice had met her soul mate, Jasper, at school and had settled in Seattle as a buyer for a local department store. I loved my work, being close to my family, and spending as much time with my niece and nephew as possible, but my life was starting to seem a little empty with all of the people closest to me paired off into perfect couples. Even Jake had recently met the "love of his life" at a Singles Night at a club in Port A. I was secretly elated to hear that Edward had turned down multiple big-city offers in favor of completing his residency at Clallum County General Hospital. I found out that Rosalie and Alice had known about what I thought was my secret crush on Edward and they were planning our wedding. I wasn't quite that optimistic, but a little part of me couldn't help hoping that he was coming back for me.

My hopes were dashed when his mother announced that he was bringing someone home with him. His girlfriend would be staying in town for at least a few weeks to see if she wanted to make her move to Washington permanent. I knew she would, because who would give up the chance to be with Edward?

Angela was helping Mom with inventory at the store and I had no aptitude for numbers, so I had Joey and Lilly for the day. I loaded them into the double stroller and conned Jake into helping me take them to the little park on Main Street. I hollered at Jake to keep Joey from eating sand, then sat with Lilly on a bench to calm her fussing. Then I heard his voice behind me. "Bella?"

I plastered a smile on my face and turned to greet him. He wasn't alone. His girlfriend was about seven feet tall, wearing tiny cut-offs and stilettos for a stroll down Main Street. She was exactly how I pictured a typical California blonde to look and she clung to Edward's hand like a lifeline. Edward's eyes had bugged out. "I didn't know you had kids!"

I laughed. "They aren't mine. Joey is Angie and Ben's and didn't you get Lilly's birth announcement in the mail?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "She's Emmett's, right?" I nodded. "Right, I knew that. So you don't have any kids of your own?"

I laughed again. "Edward, I'm twenty-two and you're my friend on Facebook. I think you'd know if I'd had kids." I looked pointedly at the woman standing beside him.

Edward seemed to get more flustered. "Right, Facebook. I've seen a few of your pictures, but I haven't really had much time to keep up. Anyway, this is Tanya, my friend from California."

Tanya's eyes narrowed. "He means girlfriend. I'm Eddie's girlfriend." She stuck out her perfectly manicured hand for me to shake. I shifted Lilly to one arm and quickly wiped the baby drool on my jeans. She cringed as I shook her hand and pulled hers back as quickly as possible, not trying to cover the fact that she wiped it off on her own pants. Her face screwed up even more as I felt Joey smack into my leg. I stumbled into Edward and he set me back upright.

"I hafta potty, Bewa." Jake sauntered up behind Joey, late to the party as usual. Edward's eyes darted between the two of us as he scooped up Joey. I smiled apologetically and excused myself. As we walked away, I saw Edward watching Joey fondly and Tanya shuddering and trying to get his attention. That was interesting.

Alice didn't like Tanya and she and Rosalie were hatching terrible ideas to put me into Edward's path. I tried to be kind and insist that everyone give Tanya a chance, but that didn't seem to be working out so well for her. She insulted nearly every business owner in town with her comments about how backwards Forks was. My mother, who was always spouting off about peace, love and understanding, had taken to putting out the Closed sign at the store whenever Tanya was downtown. Edward worked a ton of hours at the hospital as part of his residency, so his mother was left to entertain Tanya. Esme, the sweetest and most patient person I know, brought Tanya to the Junior League's annual fund raising committee planning meeting. Tanya spent nearly an hour regaling us with tales of her experiences as the personal assistant to a B-list celebrity. Mrs. Cope asked her what she planned to do with her career in Forks. She replied that she was now a personal stylist and offered her services to all the women in the room. She knew that they did the best they could with what our backwoods town had to offer, but with her connections, she could make them look so much better. Esme's jaw was clenched so tightly that I thought her teeth would crack.

Edward's welcome home dinner was just as entertaining. Esme was silent as she banged utensils and slammed dishes on the table. Alice was glaring silently at Tanya after Tanya suggested that she didn't know a designer from a knock-off. Jasper had his hand on her arm and was whispering to try and soothe her. Rosalie made no attempt to hide her dislike of Tanya and Emmett was oblivious as usual. Carlisle was the only one whose feathers Tanya hadn't ruffled and he was attempting to carry the conversation. He smiled pleasantly and asked Tanya how her quest to become a personal stylist was going.

She sniffed, "Well, the women around here don't seem to know high fashion from Walmart."

Carlisle nodded politely. "Give it time. I'm sure you'll find what you're meant to do."

"Oh, it doesn't really matter. Once Eddie and I are married, I'll be too busy managing the household to work."

Carlisle choked. "Managing the household?"

"Of course. How many domestics do you have?"

The meal was deathly silent after that except for Emmett loudly describing one of his more demanding clients. For once, he seemed to have picked up on the tension. While he talked, I watched Edward out of the corner of my eye. Maybe I'd been wrong to carry a torch for him for so long. He couldn't be the person I thought he was if he was in love with her.

The next week, I was dreading our usual Friday night outing to the local bar. Edward and Tanya had joined us the week before, but it had been incredibly awkward. Tanya chattered on, oblivious to the fact that she was just chattering and not actually having a conversation with anyone. I leaned against Jake's shoulder, tired of my emotional turmoil. He bought me a few drinks and made me dance awkwardly with him in an attempt to cheer me up, but it didn't really work. Edward seemed to be watching us more often than not, adding to the giant ball of awkward. Rosalie and Angie begged off early, using their kids as an excuse and I pleaded opening the store early the next morning, which everyone must have known was a lie, but no one called me on it.

I was delivering goat placenta shampoo to the salon a few doors down from the store (my mom and her connections, I don't ask anymore) when I heard Edward's name come up between Mrs. Cope and her stylist Jessica, a girl a few years ahead of me in high school. "Poor Edward, what was he thinking?" Mrs. Cope clucked.

"I'm glad she's gone. Now he's single and I have a shot." Jessica looked dreamy and she almost didn't notice that she was about to use the curling iron on Mrs. Cope's ear.

"Yes, dear, I'm sure he has some local girl on his mind." Mrs. Cope's eyes met mine in the mirror. I blushed and looked away. Finishing my delivery as quickly as possible, I rushed back to the store and called Alice for the full story.

"It's true! The house fell, the bucket of water has been thrown, the wicked witch is gone back to California!" Alice crowed.

"She left him?" I couldn't believe it.

"Who cares who left who? All that matters is she's gone. Can you call Jake about Friday night? We'll be in town and Edward wants to meet at mom and dad's before we go out?"

I did as she asked and finished out my work week in a fog. On Friday night, Jake and I were the last to arrive at the Cullens'. He went in but I was too anxious. I walked around the house and down to the pond, trying to walk off some of my nerves. I heard the back door open and close and footsteps down the path, but I wasn't ready to face Alice or my siblings yet, so I faced the pond.

I felt a touch on my shoulder. "How did I know you'd be down here?"

I turned and smiled tentatively at Edward. "Why didn't you come into the house?" he asked.

I sighed. "I have a lot on my mind. I really didn't want to come, but Jake dragged me."

Edward's face tensed. "He's a good guy. He's lucky to have found someone so special."

I laughed. "I would definitely call Seth special. He's even more special when he's Serena. Which one have you met?"

Edward looked confused. "Who are Seth and Serena?"

"You know, Jake's boyfriend...or girlfriend. I'm not really sure what to call him, er, or her. Jake had to go and date a drag queen."

Edward's moth was hanging open. "What, drag queen? You mean, Jake's gay?"

"He's so out you can see him from space."

"So you two aren't dating?"

"I tried to kiss him once when I was drunk. He told me I wasn't packing the right equipment." I giggled at the memory of Jake's horrified face as he tried to fight me off.

"I like the equipment you're packing," Edward muttered. His ears turned red.

"What?" I gasped, sure I hadn't heard him correctly.

"Well, I'm glad that you're not, uh, his type." Edward rubbed the back of his neck. He seemed to be doing a lot of that lately.

I snorted. "I'm not anyone's type."

"Okay, I'm confused again."

I bit my lip and turned away, embarrassed at my flaming lack of filter. "Just forget I said that."

He grabbed my chin and turned my face so he was looking me in the eye. His gaze was so intense that I couldn't look away, even though I wanted to. "No, Bella, I won't forget. Explain to me how a girl like you is still single."

I snorted again. "The entire male population of the earth is uninterested in what I have to offer."

"You're wrong. I'm interested."

"Edward, you just got dumped!"

"Just because Tanya's gone doesn't mean I got dumped."

The entire conversation was making me dizzy. "You sent her away? Why did you even bring her here in the first place?"

He dropped his eyes. "Do you know how many pictures you have of you and Jake together of Facebook? If someone didn't know he was gay, they would think you guys were dating."

"You thought I was dating Jake? What does that have to do with Tanya?"

Edward sighed in frustration. "We had been dating a few months before I told her I was coming home. I was really busy with school and hospital rounds, so we didn't spend a lot of time together and I didn't know her very well. She puts on a good show at first. Anyway, I hadn't dated anyone for a really long time before I met her and I knew everyone around here was coupled off. When she asked if she could come with me, it just seemed easier than being the sad, single tag-along."

I smiled. "It's not so bad once you get used to it."

"Don't, Bella!"

I was surprised at the firmness of his voice. "Don't what?"

"Don't turn yourself into a joke. You always do that when you want to keep people from noticing you. I thought you were in a relationship when I decided to come home and that really bothered me. Whenever I asked about you, Alice said that you were really happy. She knew I what I thought about you and Jake and she never corrected me."

"Why would she do that?"

Edward shook his head. "You know my sister. She has some scheme going. She knew that the idea of you and Jake bothered me and she egged me on."

I gasped. "She was setting us up!"

He laughed. "Well it worked."

"It did?"

"I would have broken up with Tanya if I knew you were single. After seeing you compared to her, I couldn't stay with her even though I thought you were dating someone. I couldn't stand the way you looked at me," Edward replied.

"The way I looked at you?" My brain wasn't working fast enough to keep up.

Edward gave a frustrated sigh. "Bella, I'm trying really hard here to tell you that I'm interested in you. It would really help if you would either say that you feel the same or send me away so I can get drunk."

"Just give me a minute. This isn't adding up. You broke up with Malibu Barbie so you can be with _me_?"

He laughed. "If that's how you want to put it."

"You, Edward Cullen, want to date me, Bella Swan? You and Emmett aren't funny!"

"I'm not joking and Emmett has nothing to do with us. You don't see yourself very clearly, Bella. I, Edward Cullen, want to date you, Bella Swan. Now will you please give me an answer? I'm dying over here."

Since it's kind of hard to talk when something you've dreamed about most of your life actually comes true, I gave my answer by throwing myself at him. He caught me instinctively after years of practice. His arms wrapped around me and his lips pressed to mine. Gradually our kisses headed in the French direction. I'm not sure how long we were out there wrapped around one another until the backyard light came on and our siblings started catcalling us. I tried to hide my face in his shoulder, but Edward just laughed, wrapped his arm around me and dragged me across the lawn to meet them so we could go out. Alice was bouncing like a chihuahua at the thought that one of her schemes had actually panned out. Emmett tried to give Edward the big brother speech, but couldn't keep a straight face. Jake gave us overly explicit and very unwelcome sexual advice until Angie grabbed his ear and spent a half hour lecturing him on propriety. It was one of the best nights of my life.

After a few months and a lot of pressure, I finally got Edward to admit that the night of the graduation party was when he first became interested in me. He had left the party to get some air, but when he found me, he saw me in a completely new and very unbrotherly light. With our ridiculously complicated family connections and bad timing, he'd never felt comfortable acting on his feelings until he moved back to town for good, but of course, that resulted in the mother of misunderstandings. But I really don't mind how it all played out. Everything that happened has brought us to where we are today.

Our love story hasn't been completely smooth sailing. I had to adjust to the rigorous demands of a doctor's schedule. He was ridiculously intimidated by my virgin status and took way too long to get over that hurdle. And both of us are untrainable cover hogs. Alice planned our circus of a wedding after refusing my Vegas plans. My niece threw all of her flower petals at my nephew and he chased her down the aisle. My brother, after promising my sister the service would be dignified if he officiated, rapped his way through our vows. And on the greatest day of my life, I married the man I love surrounded by our crazy, wonderful family and friends. My name is Bella Cullen, and I no longer live in the shadows, because I am the light of my husband's life.

**AN: I know, the ending is ridiculously sappy, but I couldn't resist. I got the idea for this story and the title from a song by Eden's Edge. **


End file.
